Typos in books: Isn't it someone's job to make sure that doesn't happen? I mean, they get paid for that, right? So basically, they are getting paid to make mistakes. Um, where can I sign up for that job?
Non-Removable Price Tags: I cannot stand when I buy something that I can't get the price tag off of. What genius thought it was OK to stick a giant price tag on the cover of a book with adhesive so strong you could more likely permanently glue an elephant to the underside of a 747 than remove the sticker from the cover of a book? Someone needs to talk to the dang Post-It Notes guys and see what glue they're using. Sheesh.
Celebrity Sex Videos: What is it with celebrities and their sex videos? Doesn't being a celebrity kind of imply that you are one of the people that should never make a sex video?! And considering how quickly videos go viral on the Web, that should be a little bit of a wake-up call to the wanton celeb porn stars out there. Does their fame and money really impair their judgment that much? And do they really have nothing better to do? Maybe someone should just write a celebrity manual.
Rule #1: Don't make a sex video.
Rule #2: If you do make a sex tape, don't complain when it hits the Web and the evening news. (You're famous, what the hell did you expect?!)
Rule #3: Apologize to your mother when you break Rule #1.
Tabloid Journalism: Isn't that an oxymoron?!
Pop Up Tape: Really now, pop up tape? Come on, people. Have we gotten so lazy that we can't even tear off a piece of tape from a roll dispenser? Heaven knows it takes an incredible amount of physical strength and exertion to tear scotch tape! Don't strain yourself or anything.
And finally...Frozen Dinners: Just the idea of them boggles my mind. They're basically leftovers that have been frozen and thrown into a cardboard box for the enjoyment of those with clearly discerning palates. I know a lot of people who won't touch leftovers, but who love frozen dinners. What the heck is the difference? Oh yeah, you have to buy the frozen dinners.
This is what our society has evolved to, folks...being able to enjoy a frozen dinner while reading a book filled with typos and a torn cover, created after you've spent an hour trying to remove a price tag that's been affixed with super glue, and having to repair it with your handy dispenser of pop-up tape; afterward, you can catch up on all the literary masterpieces to be found in your favorite tabloid, which will surely also provide you with the website link of your favorite celebrity sex video.
God I love this country. ;o)
