This is the start of a new feature here at Tinalicious...either because I'm incredibly clever and inspired, or just bored out of my mind. You decide. But the premise is simple: 7 Questions for...whomever or whatever I feel like targeting in a given post. And why 7 questions? Well, that's simple too. 10 questions is too many, and 5 just ain't enough. ;) So here goes.
The Hubs and I ate at Olive Garden this evening. Strangely enough, it seems that many a blog post is born for me at a restaurant. Does that mean I just eat out too much? Perhaps. But at least it usually makes for fun reading too.
Anyhoots, here are my 7 Questions for Olive Garden...
- When bringing us our oh-so-fattening-and-full-of-garlic-and-other-bad-stuff-breadsticks, why do they always start us off with 3 breadsticks? There are two of us at the table. So it would seem logical, at least to me, to bring either 2 breadsticks, or 4. But not 3. Not. 3. What gives, Olive Garden? Are all of your waitstaff that mathematically challenged? Or do you actually think we'll eat less of them if you only bring us 3 to start with? Um, think again. If you don't realize by now that most people go to the OG for the breadsticks and salad, then you need to wake up and smell the carbs. We're there for the breadsticks and salad. Everything else is just marinara on the ziti.
- Why do you insist on asking us if we want cheese on things? "Would you like cheese on your appetizer?" "Would you like cheese on your salad?" "Would you like cheese on your pasta?" Yes, yes, and yes. Hello? This is the OG. We want cheese! Who doesn't want cheese?. Yes, I do want cheese, if you please. There is no such thing as too much cheese. [I think I just had a Dr. Seuss moment there, sorry.]
- How come all your sweeteners are in paper tubes instead of rectangular packets? Is that how they do it in Italy, or are you just trying to be different? And don't you realize that because those tubes are never more than half-full, when we open them the sweetener inside has twice as far to travel on its way out, which results in the need to shake it a lot more to get it to exit the tube, which then results in at last half of the sweetener ending up on the table and/or in our food. We don't want sweetener in our food, OG. And if you really wanna enhance the table setting, set out some shakers of Parmesan cheese that we can have at our complete disposal. We're Americans, we want cheese. [See number 2, above, lest there be any lingering doubt.]
- Why is there never enough seating in the waiting area? This one really boggles my mind. Has anyone ever been to an OG where they didn't have to wait for like half an hour or more to get a table? Or is that just my own personal karmic punishment for being a carb junkie? Regardless, you know it's going to be busy, so how about forking out a few bucks for some extra seating? It is not fun standing oh so close to complete strangers (some of whom have nasty B.O.) on fake-Tuscan-style-cement-covered-floors for long periods of time as we wait for our little buzz boxes to start vibrating. And hey, how about passing out some breadsticks while we wait? Or how about some string cheese? That's Italian, right?
- In what way does music from the Rat Pack era equate with Italian cuisine? I'm always hearing some Frank Sinatra or Dean Martin music when I'm at the OG. And while I am admittedly old enough to remember Mr. Sinatra and Mr. Martin, and have absolutely nothing against them, I just don't get the connection. S'plain, please.
- Why do you have a dessert menu? No, seriously. I have never been able to eat dessert after dinner at the OG. And I've never personally witnessed any other restaurant patrons having dessert either. Who has room for dessert after all that cheese and carbs?
- How is it possible that all the waitstaff aren't completely obese? They have to eat there, how could they not be? It's the Olive Garden! So between all the salad and breadsticks, the pasta, and all that damn cheese, and lets not forget those awesome Andes mints that I'm sure get pocketed by staff on a daily (if not hourly) basis...how is it possible they're not all complete porkers?
So those are my 7 Questions for Olive Garden.
And somehow, I suddenly have a craving for cheese.