Friday Flip Offs are the brain child of The Kludgy Mom. It’s just a way to vent and get rid of your “weekday angst,” by virtually flipping someone (or something) off. Some might call that passive-aggression. But I call it misery loves company.
So here are my Friday Flip Offs for this week.
To the Dog that Belongs to the Freak Next Door: Flip Off! How is it that you manage to start barking just as I manage to fall asleep, after putting my granddaughter down for a nap, and after having only 4 hours of sleep the night before?! Is that your super special canine power, the ability to sense sleeping neighbors who need a nap more than Lindsay Lohan needs therapy, and then start barking as a reminder that they indeed live next door to a freak and his dog? Woof up already.
To the Girl at McDonald's Who Ignored Me, Twice: Flip Off! OK, I am not one to beat a dead horse [where did that expression come from anyway], because I know I've already blogged about how They F*ck You at the Drive Thru. But she deserves to be flipped off. I think we can all agree that her job is not exactly rocket science: she takes orders at a drive thru. And if your job is to take someone's order, and if they request Sweet Tea with NO ICE, two times (!), is it really that difficult to oblige them with their request? Or do I have to start asking for everything 3 times at Mickey D's from now on?
To Firefox Crashes and Their Stupid "Well, this is embarrassing" Error Message: Flip Off! Yes, it truly should be embarrassing that your browser crashes occasionally for no conceivable reason, and always at a time when I am in the middle of posting something worthless amazing or wasting time working really hard on one of my websites. And your cutesy little error message does little to stem the tide of my growing dissatisfaction with your belligerent browser. Don't make me do it; don't make me go all IE on your little fox's ass.
To Velvet Peanut Butter Fudge Ice Cream: Flip Off! In the words of Edward, "you're like a drug to me." As if the peanut butter ice cream with fudge swirls are not enough, no, no, you have to add more fuel to the junk food fire and throw in peanut butter cups too. It is exactly this kind of empty-calorie-filled-frozen-guilt-ridden-bowl-of-death-by-deliciousness that my ass does not need! Why oh why can we have DVD players in cars, toilets that flush themselves, and cell phones that can do everything but flush toilets (though I'm sure there will be an app for that one day too), but we can't have ice cream that tastes that good, and has zero calories? Something is just very wrong about that. Clearly some people's priorities are seriously out of whack!
So I've flipped. And now I'm off. Have a good weekend. ;)
