MJ Monday Memes 11/1

This week's MJ Monday Memes feature Michael Jackson images with other people in them. Naomi Campbell is in the first one (though you can't quite see her), which is from MJ's In the Closet short film. The second one isn't anyone famous, so I can't tell you his name. But the third one you should recognize: Donald Trump.

Have an Michaelicious kind of day, folks!

Happy Halloween

I'm just sitting here on the evening before Halloween, thinking about all the Happy Halloweens past, and decided to wax nostalgic blog about some of them. It has everything to do with all the great memories I have of my daughter, Jennifer dressing up at Halloween and taking her Trick-or-Treating. It has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that writing this post gets me an entry into a contest to win a fantabulous Canon Rebel T2i camera via the SITS Halloween Party Giveway. OK, well, maybe it has a little something to do with the camera giveaway. But as I do enjoy thinking about happy memories of my daughter's childhood, I may as well blog about it. And if it also gives me the chance to win a camera, is there really anything wrong with that? I think not.

One of Jennifer's first Halloweens that she dressed up for was when she was 2. Money was really tight, so even buying a costume was asking a lot of us that year. So I improvised a bit.  She already had a new pink footy-sleeper, so I just bought some bunny ears and a tail, and sewed the tail onto the sleeper. And voila: instant bunny. She was darn cute too, if I do say so myself.

Sorry for the less than quality photos here...these were taken back in the day. You know, PD (Pre-Digital). So these are scan and post pics that were originally taken with whatever sort of crappy camera I could afford at the time. If nothing else, at least they present a snapshot of my costume-clad daughter through the years, grainy as they  might be, along with the state of photographic technology during her childhood.

Another Happy Halloween memory was the year that Jennifer wanted to be Cat Woman. This was the same year the Batman movie came out that featured Michelle Pfeiffer as the sex kitten feline villain who was hot and bothered for the caped crusader. And Holy Bimbos, Batman! She was hot, even to me (but lets just keep that between us, shall we?)  Cat Woman costumes were not cheap, but since I was (and still am), I figured I'd just buy the Cat Woman mask and make the rest of the costume for Jennifer myself. I think it turned out pretty good. With some black clothes and some mock-leather fabric and a little white dimensional fabric paint, Jennifer was the spitting image of Cat Woman, yeah, even if I do say so myself.

Please be sure to note the loud carpet in the above photo. The house we lived in at the time was our first home, and I believe that carpet was original to the house. I like roses as much as the next gal, but I'm sorry, they do not belong on living room carpet.  You might also spy the VCR behind Jennifer on the entertainment center.  And on the left, what do we have? Oh yes, it's a stereo...with cassette players. Show that pic to anyone under 10 who lives in your house and you can have some fun while they try to figure out exactly what they're seeing. ;)

And finally, there was the year that Jennifer wanted to be transported to the 50's and wear a poodle skirt. And yes, being the cheap crafty gal that I am, I once again made her costume. Well, I made the skirt anyway. And even though the 50's was actually before my time, I think Jennifer made the picture-perfect-poodle-skirted girl of the 50's. Yes, if I do say so myself.

I'll also point out that in this photo, Jennifer is standing in the same living room as the Cat Woman photo. We managed to jump in to the then-20th Century and get new carpet by that time. We even put wainscoting and wallpaper on the walls by then. And yet we still managed to keep the tired entertainment center, the VCR, and even the stereo with cassette players.

But hey, I just want everyone to know that I had one of the first DVD players on my block...one that holds 3 DVD's at one time instead of just one. And, um, yeah, I still have it too. It's gotta be over 10 years old by now, but it's still kicking! Blu Ray, you say? Ha! Who needs it?! I couldn't care less about Blu Ray. OK, well, maybe I would like a Blu Ray player, almost as much as I'd like the new refrigerator I keep lobbying the Hubs for. But it can wait. I've got time, and I'm not running low on my finely-tuned nagging abilities either.

So anyhoots, these are my memories of some of my favorite Halloweens with my favorite daughter, Jennifer. [Relax, I'm not really playing favorites. She's an only child.] Hope you enjoyed my waltz down Trick-or-Treat Memory Lane. It was definitely a fun waltz...even if I do say so myself.

Happy Halloween!

Friday Flip Offs 10/29

Well, it's been awhile since I've felt the need to visit the Friday Flip Offs feature, and since I'm well-armed with some random rants for this Friday, off we go...

To the local pizza joint: FLIP OFF! Being that it was Trick-or-Treat night in our town tonight, I decided to order out so the Hubs and I would have time to visit the grandkids to steal some candy and see them in their costumes. Seeing that I am fully aware that many other folks in our town order out on TOT night too, I decided to call in the order quite early, around 4:25pm. My thinking was that the food would get here around 5-5:15pm, which would be perfect. So, fast forward to 5:52pm, and guess what? Still. No. Food!

So I called to check on the ETA of our long overdue meal, only to get told first that they had no record of my order; and second,  after they found my order, that they got "slammed" and a couple drivers didn't show up and blah, blah, blah. That's all fine and dandy, I told the guy, but then I gave him the what-for. Cuz, you know, that's just what I do.

"I'm not trying to be a bitch or anything," (well, OK, maybe I was) but if you were aware when my order was placed that delivery was going to take over an hour and a half, then you should at least have the balls courtesy to inform me of this fact. Making starving people wait over an hour and a half for food just isn't cool. I mean, I like your food, (but I don't like it that much, dude), but that's just not good business, if you ask me. And you might want to pass that little tidbit onto your manager as well for all the good it will do since he gets my money even if my food is late and cold."

And all I got from that well-articulated but disgruntled customer review was an apology for the delay. I mean, seriously, what good is an apology? Our food arrived as I was hanging up the phone with that pizza joint gumba and it was barely lukewarm. Where's the freaking discount for slow service and cold food? Where's the coupon for at least $5 off a future order? Where is the justice?!

So yeah, FLIP OFF, pizza joint.

To Political Commercials: FLIP OFF! Does anyone actually watch this crapola at election time? Nothing like twisted spin and mud-slinging in between episodes of The Real Housewives to make for a fabulous night of television. One has to wonder how much money gets spent on those commercials too. Seems to me they could better use that money on, I dunno, cleaning up the environment, or hey, how about a cure for cancer? Now THAT would win some elections.

To Google Reader: FLIP OFF! I check my GR about twice per week. And since I subscribe to a lot of feeds, there are usually over 100 posts to read each time I check in. But for some reason, when I checked in today, there were 498 unread posts. WTH? Now either my favorite bloggers have been incredibly inspired and gone psycho-prolific with their blogging habits (which would make me feel even less of a true blogger than I already do), or something was seriously stanky in state of Denmark.

So I'm going through all the posts, alternately reading and skimming to get myself caught up, and I wasn't finding anything amiss. Until I got to the  very bottom of the list. And what do I find? A new feed subscription to...wait...for...it...Discovery News.

Now I don't want to send a shock to anyone's delicate sensibilities with regard to the world and world events, but um, I do not watch the news, Discovery brand or otherwise. And I sure as hell wouldn't subscribe to the blog feed for  Discovery News.  So I don't know how on earth I got subscribed to that feed in Google Reader. Is Google trying to tell me something? Or maybe this is just a random glitch that is also a colossally funny joke, considering my blog-reading profile.  Who knows. But Flip Off anyway, Google. Keep your nefarious news-feed subscriptions to yourself!

Enjoy your Friday, gang.

Barnes and Noble Book Smeller

I just have to say right off the bat that it takes a lot to shock me anymore. And I mean A LOT. What with TV and the Internet these days, we have access to a lot of shocking stuff and at lightening speed. And this stuff just happens to become less and shocking the more we see it. We become desensitized in a lot of ways, know what I mean?

So you just have to bear this in mind when I tell you about the break that the Hubs and I were taking in the coffee shoppe at Barnes & Noble over the weekend. It started off simply enough...after doing some early Christmas shopping (yes, I am that girl, who does Christmas shopping in October) and feeling a bit parched, we decided to park our butts and have a beverage while we rested our weary bones for a bit.

So I'm sipping my IBC Cream Soda, which, btw, is some of the best cream soda I've ever tasted.  And since I seldom drink pop (why waste perfectly good calories on pop when I could throw them away on pasta...or biscuits...or mashed potatoes--all of which I'd had just an hour earlier at Red Lobster...but I digress) I was just sort of savoring it as I did a little people-watching, natch.

As I was scanning the store, my eyes landed on a person sitting on the opposite side of the coffee shoppe's glass-partition wall. I could only see the back of the person's head (a rather greasy-haired looking head, as I recall), and it seemed to be a man from that vantage point. I noticed he had a book in his hand and was kind of flipping the pages. No big deal. Perhaps he was waiting for someone?

But as my eyes bounced around they kept landing on the greasy-haired man, and as I let my eyes watch him for a longer period, I soon became perplexed. Then befuddled. Then, wait for it...SHOCKED. Yes, shocked. And then seriously, the ick factor actually began to set in. And why, you ask (and I don't blame you since I'm kind of dragging it out for you)? What could possibly have shocked me into the ick factor at Barnes & Noble?

It was because the greasy-haired man was not just mindlessly flipping the pages of a book. No. No. And NO! He was flipping the pages of the book...repeatedly...very close to his face...so he could smell the book. He was visibly and quite deliberately smelling the book, people...and pausing only occasionally to also...sniff...his...fingers.

WTH?! And in this case, I think a WTF is also in order!

Why? I mean, seriously, WHY? Is there something about books I don't know? Or does this dude have a fetish I've just never heard of until now (and dammit I wish I'd been left in the dark about!). Granted, there are worse things the guy could have been sniffing, but still. It's. Just. Icky.

So of course I had to whisper to the Hubs what I had witnessed so that he could gawk and stare like an idiot take a casual glance just as I had. And yeah, we sort of laughed it off, but we were both rather taken aback by the whole scene. So of course we made sure to walk past this man on the way out of the coffee shoppe.

While I personally was too far into the ick factor to let my eyes linger too long as we passed, I looked just long enough to realize that maybe the greasy-haired man was actually a greasy-haired woman. He/She appeared to have boobs, but hey, they could have been man-boobs for all I know.  The hair was short, but the clothing was ambiguous. And I sure wasn't gonna turn back for another look once we'd gotten clear of him/her. I asked the Hubs what he thought, and he couldn't decide if it was a man or a woman either.

But one thing is certain, and I shit you not, people: I was sitting less than 6 feet away from the greasy-haired, androgynous Barnes & Noble Book Smeller!

And how was your weekend?

MJ Monday King of the World

Today's memes all feature Michael and his arms. Now don't read anything into this folks. Sometimes I look for a theme and if I see an obvious one I run with it. I never said it would always make sense. ;) But as you'll see, MJ's arms feature prominently into each photo, and the rest will speak for itself on your Michael Jackson Monday.

Happy Monday, gang.

Peter Pan MJ Meme Monday

Time for another mixed bag of fun MJ Memes for your Michael Jackson Monday. Sometimes I like macros with a theme...sometimes they're just kind of random (if I'm too mentally fried to find a common thread on any given Monday). So today's deal with Peter Pan, potty breaks, and whoopie cushions. Enjoy!

Enjoy your Monday, peeps!

30 Minute Meals My Ass

For you folks that don't know, I'm kind of addicted to the Food Network. I can watch that almost any day or time and find something I want to watch. I also get a lot of recipes from watching it too.  I baby-sit my granddaughter all day four days per week, and I have that channel on literally all day long. I'm thinking that maybe she'll absorb it all by osmosis or something and then one day she'll want to become a chef and name her restaurant after me. Tinalicious could be a great eatery name, could it not? ;)

I have some favorite and not-so-favorite chefs and cooks on the FN for various reasons.

Bobby Flay ~ Fave

It's because he's a redhead mostly. The Hubs is a redhead, and it dawned on me at some point in the last few years that this must be the reason I am drawn to redheaded celebrity men.  [David Caruso anyone? Yowza.]

But also, Bobby is a kick-ass cook. I mean look at him with his big kitchen power tool up there! Power tools in the kitchen? Um, he had me at Hello.

Tyler Florence ~ Not a Fave

His show is called Tyler's Ultimate, and clearly, everything he makes is the ultimate anything, in his mind at least.  He's just a little too full of himself, in my opinion. And if I had a dollar for every time he said something he just made was "absolutely fabulous," well, I could probably afford to hire a private chef and not have to watch these shows anymore. Let's face it: there's a fine line between confidence and arrogance. One of those is an attractive quality. The other? Not so much.

Paula Deen ~ Fave

What is not to like about a fun-loving southern gal who says y'all every minute or two, has dogs that follow her around the kitchen, and whose sons come and cook with her and call her, Mama?  And I also love the way she says oil...with one syllable, like ole instead of oyuhl. She makes cooking fun and she's just as humble as pie, y'all. She takes a lot of flack for cooking like a true southern lady, with lots of butter and fat (the flavor lives there, don'tcha know). She's not exactly the most health-minded of cooks, but she doesn't pretend to be either. And I'll never forget her response to that issue that she gave on one of her shows. She said, "Honey, I ain't your doctor...I'm your cook!" You tell 'em, Paula! I just love that lady and would absolutely love to cook with her, which I can now do in my Paula Deen signature cookware. ;)

Giada De Laurentiis ~ Not a Fave

While I do like a lot of the food that The Boob Lady Giada prepares, I'm not a big fan of the cleavage that is staring me in the face at all times while she prepares it. I get it. She's hot. And yeah, she's clearly the eye candy for the Food Network. But damn, does she not own any shirts at all that don't show off her ample boobage? Considering that it's probably mostly women who watch her show, what is the point of it anyway? She's supposed to be a talented and highly skilled chef, but it seems like she really just wants to be the queen of culinary cleavage on television. Have some class, Giada, and put the girls away. When we say, "show us what you got," we're talking about F-O-O-D.

Rachael Ray ~ Fave

I think that with Rachael, you either love her or hate her. I happen to love her. She's funny and enthusiastic, and she's just a real person who doesn't talk to her viewers like they are idiots. And she's not a chef, she's a self-proclaimed cook, so she doesn't have to put on airs. She is just herself, and I like that.

I get tons of recipes off of Rachael's Food Network show, 30 Minute Meals. But I have one major complaint: I've tried several of her recipes and all of them have taken me longer than 30 minutes. Every. Single. One. I tried her Steakhouse Shepherd's Pie recipe over the weekend, and while it was "delish" (as Rachael would say), I set a new record for how long one of her 30 Minute Meals could take: an hour and twenty minutes!

So, Rachael, I love ya, girl. And I'll always keep watching and trying your recipes. But I think your show needs a new title.

30 Minute Meals, My Ass!

Bon Appetit, y'all.

MJ Monday Meme 10/11

Time for my favorite blog day of the week: Michael Jackson Monday! Admit it: you love them too...couldn't start your week without them now, could ya?! ;) So I won't prolong  your enjoyment any longer...

Happy MJ Monday, y'all!

Seen and Heard at Olive Garden

So the Hubs and I went out to eat at The O.G. on Saturday. And it was quite the entertaining day, to be sure. Really, you just never know what you might observe while waiting for your super special Olive Garden coaster-buzzer to alert you of your awaiting table.

For instance, I went into the ladies room to, you know, take care of business.  There were two ladies at the sink, who were still there when I was ready to wash my hands.  One of the ladies was older and brushing her teeth, which is understandable considering what one's mouth tastes like after an artery-blocking-carb-junkie's fix of a meal at The O.G. But she has to hog a lot of sink time in order to take care of her oral hygiene, and that's kind of annoying when you're wanting to wash your hands.  And the other gal, much younger, was finished washing her hands, but was completely fascinated by the faucet that turned on whether the faucet was pushed in either forward or reverse direction. She thought that was the absolute coolest thing ever, and actually thought it was supposed to do that. The older lady asked me to forgive her young friend's pre-occupation with the faucet.

"She's from the country," she told me.

And all I could think was: they don't have broken faucets in the country?

My husband's a plumber, so after I finally got the chance to wash my hands in that fancy city-fied faucet, I couldn't wait to tell him about the ladies room loony I'd just met. But little did I know his adventure in the men's room would top my own.

"The guy next to me, " he told me, "was texting at the urinal."

Now just hold on just one minute here, fella. You're telling me that there was a man juicing his johnson with one hand...and texting with the other?

"Yup."

Well, now I've heard everything. Granted, at least you can't kill anybody if you're texting while peeing at a urinal. But hey, you are putting other guys at risk of being saturated by your rogue stream should you lose your focus. And that's just poor urinal etiquette, at the very least.

And what on earth is so important that you actually have to text someone midstream anyway? Trust me, fella, nothing is that important. They can wait a minute while you finish.

I also have to wonder...what if he left the bathroom without washing his hands? And what if he returned to his table, where his lovely girlfriend was waiting...to borrow...his...phone?

I think I've made my point. And hopefully it will make you think twice the next time your beau heads to the restroom with his cellphone, eh?

But just as a final thought on texting while peeing, here's a snippet from an interview with Brad Pitt from Wired magazine, which includes his thoughts on talking on the phone and texting in the bathroom.

“No, you can’t talk on the phone!” Pitt tells the magazine. “Do you want the guy next to you to hear your entire conversation?

“That’s why you should only text in the bathroom. Just be sure you don’t hit the wrong button and end up putting a photo of your junk on Twitter. Trust me, you don’t want those followers.”

Amen, Brad. Amen.

MJ Legend Memes

For your all Michael Jackson Monday this week I'm paying tribute to Michael Jackson, the true legend.

There are only so many legends like Michael Jackson, but even though he's gone, his legend will live on...especially on Mondays! ;)