I thought I'd start September with a cleverly named blog post. I challenged myself to use a word in the title that I had not used before, and "befuddled" fit the bill, so there you go. It's a good word, no? And it aptly lends itself to my mood and should serve to set the tone for this entire post about the many Things I Don't Understand for today. So let's get right to it, shall we? Come on, don't try to mask your enthusiasm.
First, I don't understand Hoarders. Not just the show, which is a never-ending lesson in redundancy (let's face it, it's the same show every week, where only the faces and location have changed), but I mean, the hoarders themselves. I can't wrap my brain around how someone can literally amass mountains of clothes, household items, trash, animal feces, and/or other piles of poo in some form, and NOT understand that they have a slight problem. Or if they do understand, they get pissed when they have to start getting rid of their crap. Heaven forbid you throw away that empty toilet paper roll--Lord knows how much sentimental value you must have attached to that. Not trying to sound harsh, because I really do feel for those people. But I will never, ever, understand them.
Some other randomness of things I don't understand...
19 Kids and Counting. Seriously. Don't get me started.
Toddlers in movie theaters. I mean, really?
Cowlicks. OMG (and I don't wield those OMG's haphazardly!). I have one, my daughter has one, and my poor grandson has one. They both blame me, of course. But who am I supposed to blame?! They are stupid cranial annoyances with even stupider names. Cowlicks. As if it's not bad enough to deal with on my head, I have to feel like I've been licked by a cow too.
White clothing that cannot be bleached. WTH did they do to it to make it non-bleachable? And WHY?!
Why Heidi has to introduce the judges on every single episode of Project Runway. Come on, Heidi. Those of us who have watched the since the beginning know who the judges are, and the newbies really don't care.
Rubber testicles that guys hang off the back of their pickup truck. Dude, you're not fooling anyone. We know yours aren't that big, and the fact that you hang them there for all to see pretty much tells us all that you're probably coming up short in that area. Is that really the message you wanna send?
Why The Boob Lady (a.k.a. Giada, a Food Network chef), pronounces all of her food words with an Italian accent...but speaks normal English for everything else.
When Facebook friends post something that says you should post it as your status for an hour, to support some sort of "cause," and then basically infer that you're scum if you don't do it. Exactly how is my posting a paragraph of text doing anything for anyone on any day by any stretch of the imagination? And if you're my "friend," why are you trying to shame me into doing something in the first place?!
The God channel on TV. You don't get bonus points for watching it, you know.
And finally, neighbors who let their dog crap in my yard. My dog is dead, so I know he's not crapping there. So they shouldn't be surprised when I lose it at some point and start throwing all that crap back into their yard where it belongs.