Let's face it: there are a LOT of things I don't understand about the Hubs. About men in general really. But that's OK because, you know, ignorance is bliss and all. But sometimes I get to thinking about things the Hubs does, and I just feel compelled to turn it into a blog post for a small but undoubtedly hip portion of the whole world to see. And maybe some of you will be able to relate. And then we're like...bonding. Or something.
So here are 5 things I don't understand about the Hubs.
Why does he put his dirty clothes on the bedroom floor before he showers--when the laundry room is but a few wee steps from the bedroom? I mean, he can literally take 3 steps from our bedroom door to the laundry room door--and just another 2 steps to hit the laundry basket. Why is that so difficult? He does usually get it there eventually, but sometimes the clothes sit there for quite awhile. Taunting me. It's like he knows I have just enough OCD tendencies that I'll be forced to pick up the dirty clothes and make that laborious-five-step trek to the laundry room on his behalf. It's dark. Sinister really. Like some evil Jedi mind trick or something.
Why must he use multiple napkins at every single meal? I can get by with one napkin--or even no napkins most of the time. But him? No way. He always uses more than one napkin; usually three or four. And I just don't understand the need for that many napkins. Seriously. How many trees must be sacrificed on a daily basis all in the name of him wiping his face 133 times per meal? One. Is. Enough. Just put the napkin down, fella.
Why must he wear socks to bed? I'll never understand this. He says he doesn't like the feel of the sheets on his feet. And no, it's not the sheets--because he's done this with every single set of sheets we've ever had--no matter the cost of them or the thread count. And what's worse is, he frequently gets hot and/or sweaty in the night--fall, spring, summer, winter...makes no difference. I tell him it's because of the socks. The socks trap heat in. He doesn't believe me, of course. But no matter, I just don't understand the whole smother-your-feet-with-socks-in-bed-and-get-all-hot-and-sweaty thing. I'd never wear socks to bed. Unless...
Why does he sneeze through his nose? He's always done this for as long as I've know him. It's one of his greatest mysteries. I don't understand how or why he does that. It's not...normal. We've debated about this for years, to the point where he even asked the doctor about it, who said it was fine that he did that. It may be 'fine,' but it is not normal. I've told him before (not that he remembers) to look at babies and children sneeze. How do THEY do it? Through their mouths--like A-CHOO. Why? Because that's N-O-R-M-A-L. It's automatic. We don't have to stop and think about it, it just happens that way. From. Birth. But not with him, no. And I'm sorry, it's just weird. Whenever I see him do it, I'm just...
And finally (at least for today), Why does he use sour cream on his baked potato whenever we eat at a restaurant, but when I have sour cream at home he never uses it? It's just not logical.
But hey, my mental confusion about the Hubs has at least allowed me to use Michael Jackson and Spock Reaction Gifs in the same blog post. So really, it's all worth it in the end. Right?