So my granddaughter, Destiny and I were watching TV yesterday when a Barbie commercial came on that I hadn't seen before. Destiny got all excited and kept saying, "Grandma, I really want that, so much." At first I thought it was just a new Barbie, but that's not really what the commercial was for. No, it was for Barbie's dog.
A dog that poops. WTF?!
That's right. A dog that poops. Now maybe this pooping Barbie dog isn't even new. I don't know. But seriously, is it necessary to have a pooping Barbie dog? I mean, I'm trying to imagine the meeting that went down at Mattel. You know, the Suits are all sitting around debating what Barbie really needs in her ever so busy and plastic-filled Barbie world, and Suit #1 says, "hey, how about a dog?"
And Suit #2 says, "yeah, maybe, but that's so banal...so been there, done that. Barbie can't have just a typical dog. It needs to be something...more."
So Suit #3 says, "Hey, I know, let's make the dog poop!"
And all the Suits cheer in unison...
And thus, Tanner the pooping Barbie dog is born. And you gotta love the marketing. "When Tanner has to go to the bathroom, Barbie cleans it up with the magnetic scooper."
Yeah, as if Barbie would lower herself to scoop up dog poop. She might pop a boob or something.
Maybe I'm just getting old and cynical. But in this day and age, when we can open and close our garage doors from 300 miles away (there's an app for that!), I just think we're a wee bit more evolved than a pooping Barbie dog. I dunno. Call me crazy.
But I do know one thing: if you buy one of those pooping dogs for your child or grandchild, it'll all be shits and giggles (pun intended) until those little balls of plastic poop get lost. And then your child is going to freaking lose it.
Which is exactly what Mattel wants, so you'll have to buy more! And then you'll be calling them up saying, "Hey, Mattel, I need to buy more dog poop." And they're going to just laugh themselves all the way to the bank, my friends.
Well played, Mattel. Well played indeed.
